dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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