did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
