Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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