he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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