I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
