We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize