even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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