make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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