is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
