goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
