I want to stick my p in your. b.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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