i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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