i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
