we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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