Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
