Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
