Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
