he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
