Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
