life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
