im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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