so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
