Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
