maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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