worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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