my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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