I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
