That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
