the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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