they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
