Kareoke will never be a sober sport
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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