My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
