is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize