Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
