And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's blow job season.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
