I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
