Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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