I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
