Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
