Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
