Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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