I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
