I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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