Even the bartender felt bad for me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
