Your tits are I can't wait for
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize