Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
