How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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