Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
