Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize