last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
