YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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