I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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