So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
