is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize