It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
