garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
