Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
