great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
