Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
