I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
