just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
