If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
